My Wonderful Best Friend
by Durriken
Summary: Sakura and Ino are truly best friend goals.


**A/N**: Girl talk.

**My Wonderful Best Friend**

* * *

"Hey, pig girl."

"What is it, billboard brow?"

"I just want to make sure we're operating on the same level of mutual respect here going forward, you know… just so there's no confusion."

"Confusion? Who's confused, you? Is that head finally about to take you over? I _always_ bring my A-game. You, on the other hand, average somewhere in the middling C or D range."

"Funny you should mention those grades because you were batting a pretty stringent D the last time, you boar. You chipped the paint, but that's okay, pigs don't have very good hand-eye coordination so I hear."

"Wow. All that forehead and not even an eighth of brain to fill it, what a shame. If there _was_ anything chipped, you probably did it yourself tripping over Sasuke after being denied for the hundredth time."

"Hm. Pigs apparently aren't good with numbers either so allow me to clarify something. My failure tally is lower than yours on that scale—"

"—like hell it is—"

"—so maybe get your facts straight before you come for the queen."

"And what are you queen of exactly? Ginormous foreheads? That's about all you've got going for you, Sergeant Cranium, now hold still... if this paint smears, it's your fault."

"Mighty professional to blame the customer for your faulty technique, Ms Piggy. Those hooves must make it hard for you to articulate the brush correctly."

"I can correctly articulate my foot up your nose if you want, Captain Head, give you a nice, big ol' challenge."

Somewhat smirking yet remaining diligent in her efforts, Sakura dipped the little brush back into its jar and set to work on the second coat. "And that's precisely why I'll be the one at Sasuke-kun's side when all is said and done. You are _far_ too violent for a normal relationship. You pigs are too rambunctious."

"_Excuse_ me, broadband dome?" Ino couldn't help but cock an eyebrow at her company's ridiculous claim, readjusting the grip she had over her ankle. "Is the loud-mouthed, fist-flinging, cherry blossom-haired devil of the Nine Foreheads really calling _me_ rambunctious? Surely you've taken one too many blows to that boulder you call a head. And, um, hello? Normal? With Sasuke-kun?" She scoffed, shaking her head and sticking her tongue out to the side, sharpening her focus. "One doesn't simply fall for Sasuke-kun to obtain normalcy," she started funnily, "you fall for Sasuke-kun for—"

"—those dreamy, jet black eyes—"

"—that cold disposition—"

"—that bittersweet scowl you just _know_ is hiding a charming smile—"

"—and the fact that I wanna nibble on that tight booty!"

Sakura wholeheartedly nodded, pausing in her craft to giggle, while just in front of her, Ino was quivering with laughter, covering her mouth a hand. As was their ritual every other Friday, the two of them were at Ino's house, currently relaxed on her bed with their legs outstretched in the others direction. Sakura was painting Ino's toes and Ino was painting Sakura's.

Heeding her friends annoying request for something sparkly this time around, because of course idiots were attracted to shiny things, Sakura had chosen a superbly glistening silver to accentuate Ino's platinum blonde hair while Ino, under Sakura's childish ask for something "more adult", had picked out a deadly yet alluring shade of crimson.

"He's really the perfect guy when you think about it," Sakura went on. She was hunched over Ino's third toe, putting some truly admirable effort into her strokes to make sure the coating was decadently even. "Much too perfect for a bovine like you."

Across from her, Ino barely acknowledged the slight beyond a noncommittal grunt, and she hefted Sakura's foot by the ankle, looking at it from different angles. Compared to her spastic pink-haired friend, who liked to take her time with each individual toe, Ino was more prone to survey the landscape of the foot; it told her which way the paint needed to lean, how much to add, little tidbits here and there to make her work shine. "Okay, first of all, you walking advocate for bigger forehead protectors, no guy is perfect, alright? They all have their flaws"—when Sakura snorted derisively, Ino kept going as though hearing nothing—"and secondly, at least _this_ bovine can cook and maintain. Those are wifey level traits, something a man like Sasuke-kun would surely appreciate. The most he could get out of you would be using your forehead as target practice."

Working on Ino's fourth toe now required far more precision given the smaller nail bed and Sakura narrowed her eyes, her gaze intensifying as she wielded her brush like a sword, making masterful strokes to and fro. "See, and that's why all you'll ever be to Sasuke-kun is that pig in a wig from down the lane. It's not that Sasuke-kun isn't perfect, it's that perfect _isn't_ Sasuke-kun. He exists on a realm outside of such a base word," she said with a dreamy sigh, performing a well-honed dap-and-swipe to bring closure to the fourth nail. "I understand him, I know what he needs, and I'm gonna make him mine. So hey, take pride, Countess Von Pig; by painting my nails there, you're actually helping with that goal."

Sakura glanced up with a wide, almost clown like smile. "You'll make an excellent bridesmaid at our wedding. Might even let you plan my bachelorette party if you aren't too busy seething with jealousy by then."

There was so much ludicrous lunacy in Sakura's Drabble that Ino placed focus on lining her toes up first. So far, the first three were flawless, the coat even, and the flow consistent. After glancing over her masterful handiwork, for a second, Ino almost believed she was giving her friend an honest chance at winning Sasuke's heart.

"Don't you know, Sasuke-kun hates the bombastic type of admirer. You might be confused since you hail from the Village of the Hidden Forehead," she countered gracefully, rotating Sakura's foot in gentle circles. It wasn't to bring her friend comfort, more to relax her toes and keep them their natural color instead of flushed with stress; she needed to make sure the scarlet polish did its job without any help. "If you paid the slightest bit of attention you'd already see that Sasuke-kun probably prefers the more reserved woman—yes, a _real _woman—not the diehard, swooning little girl. I believe you already know which one you are."

"Naturally. I'm the diehard woman who's ride or die. So sweet that sugar wouldn't melt in my mouth, nyaaah."

Sakura stuck out her tongue, and Ino retaliated by pulling on her eyelid.

"Sakura. _Girl_. Who do you think you're trying to fool? I _know _you. Your inner mentality is all sorts of aggressive," Ino retorted with a hard roll of her eyes. "Ask me how I know."

With careful movements, Sakura placed the small of her finger between Ino's pinkie and fourth toe to give herself more room. "Sure kicked your ass. Ask me how _I_ know."

"If I'd known I was dealing with such a mentally fractured little kid, that match would have gone a helluva lot differently. And you sure as shit did _not_ win," Ino clarified. "Last I checked, they declared it a tie, Galactic Head."

"To save you the embarrassment of outright losing," Sakura said matter-of-factly, applying the first coat. "Bovines need handicaps, it's only fair. I didn't even mind."

"Of course you didn't, you have enough head and then some for it not to matter. Duh."

Giving Sakura's foot one last look over, Ino bent it toward her with a delicate motion, almost close enough to kiss it if she so wished, but she stopped at the last second and proceeded to blow cool air over Sakura's freshly painted toes, to speed up the drying process. They instantly scrunched in response and she couldn't help but grin when Sakura inhaled sharply through her teeth.

"Ha, it's a shame you'd have a better chance of becoming Hokage than winding up with Sasuke-kun, he'll never know how cute your moans sounnnnngh… _fuh_..."

Sporting a devilish grin, Sakura had slid her fingers in-between Ino's sparkling toes, sending a bolt of pleasure racing up the shuddering kunoichi's spine that escaped through her lips.

"Funny, I could say the same for you," Sakura chided, pointing a swirling finger at Ino's scowling, flushed face. "Gotta lotta blush going on all up in there and I happen to have it on good authority that Sasuke-kun doesn't favor red-faced swine. Sor-ry," she sang.

"Bite-me," Ino snapped in the same rhyming scheme, without any thought, and she quickly came to regret her words when Sakura suddenly seized her by the ankle with the most beguiling smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Ino's heart leapt when Sakura slowly lifted her foot and she made to try and snatch herself free but Sakura's grip was ironclad. "Don't. You. _Dare—_I swear to _God_, Sakura, if you—wait, wait, wait, don't—"

When Sakura nibbled over three of her toes at once, it was perhaps the most girlish noise Ino had ever emitted, that high-pitched rolling groan that resonated around the room despite her best efforts at clapping both hands to her mouth.

Thoroughly pleased and holding back laughter, Sakura gave Ino's feet a little rallying shake. "That was quite the noise, did you just cum or what?" she wondered slyly, finding immense satisfaction in the way Ino extended both middle fingers while keeping her hands firmly pressed to her face. "Yeah, no, you've got no chance. You think Sasuke-kun would want an overly sensitive husk of a pig like you? Sha right, no."

"On the contrary," Ino uttered, in tones that dripped a sensual undercurrent. "I think Sasuke-kun would just _love_ the idea of a woman who gets wet just by being near him, and trust me, I do. I'm gonna show that Uchiha a flood," she declared brazenly, lowering her hands to reveal a breathless smile. When Sakura blinked, stunned, Ino pressed on. "And I'll do it while I moan his name just… like… this: _aaaahn_… _S-Sasuke-kuuun_…"

It was mewled out so sexily that a fire sparked to life in Sakura's face, like a tomato had burst over her face and was leaking down her neck. "Y-you… that w-was—" The sheer lewdness of Ino's voice had temporarily short-circuited Sakura's; she had to clear her throat to get right again. "You must be extremely deluded if you think Sasuke-kun would find any satisfaction in hearing a pig squeal like it's being strung up. He could go to a butcher shop for that," she said waving a dismissive hand despite the fact that her cheeks were still a very healthy red.

"Says the chick with the voice like a sackful of kittens getting beat with a mallet."

"That… was needlessly graphic, I feel."

"Not as needless as your futile attempts at trying to win Sasuke-kun over, tell ya that much," Ino said with a wink. "So don't be a sack of abused kittens. Stay in your lane, watch a real one work, and maybe—_maaaaybe—_one day you'll find your prince like I've found mine."

To this, Sakura awarded Ino an enthusiastic, albeit wholly sarcastic, round of applause. "Wooow, congratulations, First Lady Pig. I didn't know you had finally come around to picking Naruto to be your prince charming! I reckon it makes sense, though, don't it? He's annoying, you're _incredibly_ annoying, it'd be like two annoying souls melding into one ethereal mass of aggravation."

If Ino hadn't left her weapons pouch on her desk table in the corner she felt sure she would have chucked a couple shuriken at her snidely grinning partner. "All I'll say to that is if you don't think Naruto is fine as all hell when his hair is wet and hanging _just_ right then you need to have corrective forehead surgery to get it out of your eyes," she began musingly, bringing her legs in and flexing her toes to inspect Sakura's work.

Sakura opened her mouth, paused with her bottom lip hanging, shut it, then tried again a few seconds later. "Not finer than Sasuke-kun," she retorted begrudgingly, following Ino's lead and lifting her leg toward the ceiling fan so that the scarlet paint caught the light resplendently.

"I never said he was," Ino said simply, nodding at her feet before giving Sakura a thumbs up, which made the pink-haired kunoichi beam, "just that Naruto has his moments where he's as delicious as strawberry flavored mochi. The boy is _foine_. Not fine, but foine. Period."

"Agreed," said Sakura while looking constipated with her acknowledgement at the same time, "although I'd vehemently deny it in a court of law. Perjury can eat my lily-white ass."

"That goes without saying." Ino jerked her head at Sakura's feet. "How's the color treating you? You like?"

"I love, actually," said Sakura happily. "Thought it might be a bit too daring buuuut… it really works, doesn't it?"

"Sure does, enough to take attention away from your eclipsing forehead, at least."

"Right? And you? It's hard to beautify a filthy pig but do you feel at least an iota of pretty?"

"A couple iotas," Ino replied, admiring that sparkling sheen from different angles. "I don't know if Sasuke-kun has a foot fetish or anything but after he sees these puppies, he's definitely gonna have _something_."

"And hey, if not, I'm pretty sure Naruto would suck the dirt off my toes if I asked," Sakura said absently, falling out on Ino's bed and lifting both legs. "Might as well get some mileage out of all this hard work on the off chance it blows up in my face, eh?"

Poking out her lips in thought, Ino gave those words far more consideration than they warranted, then fell out opposite Sakura, bringing her own legs up and joining their heels. "Think he'd work that tongue on mine, too?"

"Dunno. He's all about big foreheads, not pigs."

Ino couldn't help but grin, and felt positive that Sakura was doing the same. "So what you're saying is, I have a chance."

"Eh, hope springs eternal, go for it."

Lifting a fist, Ino started to giggle. "_Shannaro_, then."

* * *

**A/N**: Character interaction moments like this are one of my favorite things to write.


End file.
